The trouble with body
by Clueless-currasow
Summary: Mr. Green sets out to wreck revenge on Mr. Body, but things go utterly, utterly wrong...


Mr. Green slowly pushed open the kitchen door, and found the man he had been tracking down. It was now 3 A.M., the time Mr. Body usually got up for a midnight snack. It had taken hours for Green to find Mr. Body alone. But finally Mr. Green had found Mr. Body in the kitchen, scurrying through the fridge in his orange and black striped bathrobe. He was going to make sure he paid for the three years of black mail. Mr. Body was going to be killed by Mr. Green, in the kitchen, with the knife.  
"You know," Mr. Green whispered to himself quietly, "That sounds like I've heard it somewhere before. Maybe it's a very popular phrase. Hmm...Well, if it isn't, I can also write it down later and get rich off of it". Suddenly Mr. Body sprang out from the refrigerator in which he had been in, searching for the chocolate ice cream he had instructed Mrs. White to put in the bottom drawer. He had definitely heard something. He spun around several times; looking for someone, then came to an abrupt halt. This was because he had become ill with dizziness from spinning so much. He then turned around again, this time slower, and found Mr. Green standing in the doorway with a shiny knife on his hand and maniacal grin on his face.  
"Mr. Green, it's a bit late for you to be strolling about the mansion with such a well-sharpened knife," Body said with not the least bit of alarm in his voice, "Wouldn't you agree?"  
"Shut up, Body!" The grin on Mr. Green's face had suddenly disappeared. It had been replaced by a look of anger that said "Let me get this over with already because I'm tired and I have been trying to kill you for the last several hours". However, faces don't speak, voices do. However, it is not too hard to guess that Body got the message from the tone of Green's voice, "You have been blackmailing me for the past three years, Body, and now you're going to pay for it. Prepare to feel cold metal!"  
And with that, Mr. Green shoved the knife through Mr. Body's stomach with much satisfaction, watching the poor man experiencing terrible pain, then suddenly go horribly stiff and fall to the floor. Completely satisfied, Green took the knife out of Body's stomach and brought it over to the sink, to clean off the blood and think up a believable alibi.  
Suddenly Body sat bolt upright, looked around the room a bit, then looked straight at Green and said, "You know, when you said 'Prepare to feel cold metal!', I was expecting something quite painful". Mr. Green looked straight at Mr. Body. If Mr. Green's eyes had opened any wider, they would have popped right out of his head and landed on the floor. The knife Green had been washing suddenly fumbled out of his hands and clattered to the white kitchen tiling.  
"As it turns out," Body continued, completely unaware of the fact that he should be dead, "Cold metal doesn't feel that bad at all. I must admit, however, it felt better when you took the knife back out of stomach again".  
  
Mr. Green gave Mr. Body a haunted look. "Your supposed to be dead!" he exclaimed with pure, utter horror, "It's physically impossible for you to still be alive!" "You know," Mr. Body said, "I never really did understand physics..." Mr. Green looked at Mr. Body, then at the knife, then back at Mr. Body's stomach wound. "I must be going insane!" Green exclaimed, "No matter! Body, if I killed you once, then I can kill you again!" Green thrust the blade into Body's forehead. Body suddenly fell back down into the same exact position again, this time with the knife sticking out of his head. Green thought it would be better to leave the knife in the body this time, just to make sure. He turned back to the kitchen sink again to wash the blood off of his hands. Body suddenly sat bolt upright again. "I must admit," Body said, to Green's pure horror, "That the metal did sting a bit this time. Would you mind removing the knife from my forehead?" Green stood by the sink, stone still, petrified by seeing a man talking to him as if it were an everyday thing to have a knife sticking out of your forehead. "Not going to help, eh?" Body said, "I am very disappointed by your rudeness in not helping me out. Oh well, I'll just have to do it myself". With that, Body tugged at the knife three times sharply and it came out of his head, drenched in blood. "Well, that looks rather interesting," Body said, admiring the knife as if it were a painting, "Would you like it back?" Suddenly Mr. Green got on his knees and started giving Mr. Body several quick, painful stabs with the knife. "WHY" stab "WON'T" stab "YOU" stab "DIE?" stab, stab, and stab. Mr. Body cocked his head slightly and looked up at Mr. Green, who was still stabbing him. "I don't know, really. Why should I?" "BE" stab "CAUSE" stab "IT" stab "IS" stab "PYSHICALLY" two stabs "IM" stab "POSS" stab "A" stab "BULL" stab "FOR" stab "YOU" stab "TO" stab "KEEP" stab "LIVING". "Didn't we go over this before?" Mr. Body asked, as he was given two more stab wounds, "I never have understood physics well."  
With a scream of insanity and frustration, Green through down the knife and ran out the door. He ran a full mile before he stopped screaming.  
"Well," Said Mr. Body, brushing the blood off of himself, "He was rather rude. I shall have to remember not to have him as a house guest again any time soon."  
Body forgot this and two days after the event called Mr. Green and invited him to Body Mansion to play a game of cribbage. Mr. Green screamed into the phone and hung up. Mr. Body still cannot figure out why Mr. Green did that. 


End file.
